i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
