ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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