C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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