Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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