I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
false alarm, still single
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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