Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
