just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
