there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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