i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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