We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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