Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just pee around me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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