there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
