I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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