UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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