I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
