Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
