I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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