No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
