you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
