Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
