how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
