The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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