We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
