Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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