I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
