i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
