I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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