That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
