I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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