I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
