so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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