i permit you to call me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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