..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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