i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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