we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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