eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
