when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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