He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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