Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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