You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
