I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
