i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
