Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm just crazy horny about you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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