Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
