The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I bet he comes in French.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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