I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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