real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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