Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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