Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i think we sleep fucked last night...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
