i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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