I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
