I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
