a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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