i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
